Well it has only been 5 months since my last post, but since we are getting comments (well alright one) moaning that we haven’t been updating this blog I thought I might give you an update:
My hamstring is still screwed and Sarah has lost all interest in running.
So moving on to the most important of those two things. My hamstring. Honestly why would a hamstring injury last this long? Why? HOW? Why can no healthcare professional fix it? It’s just a bleeding hamstring. You must have seen one before.
If you are a physiotherapist I want to hear from you. Maybe I could run some kind of physio competition to see who can fix me. Then I will start running and blogging again and I will make Sarah join in
Green
Wednesday, 29 October 2008
Wednesday, 7 May 2008
Dance in the aisles when The Green steps to it.
Hello! Cherry Green here. Remember me? I used to write in this blog. So let me tell you what has been going on:
Sarah has become the first archaeologist in space. She is currently in acrimonious financial talks with NASA and has threatened to take a match to Jupiter.
Charlotte has evolved into a being of pure energy and now lives in the wiring of her house in South East London. She has also done lots of training and will run the Edinburgh Marathon in about half an hour. She also turned thirty and Sarah and I wrote a blisteringly bad poem about it. See below.
I have done my hamstring in. It turned out that the Serpentines track training did more than humiliate me in front of a lot of men with bums the size of a clenched fist. It also cost me the entire Edinburgh Marathon and several hundred pounds in physio. I’m on the mend now but still unable to run. Which is really quite annoying when you think about it.
Yesterday my physio told me that my muscles are “flaccid and wasted”. Which was nice of him. I wonder if I pay extra for the abuse.
That’s all for now until I think of something witty or amusing to say.
Cerise
Sarah has become the first archaeologist in space. She is currently in acrimonious financial talks with NASA and has threatened to take a match to Jupiter.
Charlotte has evolved into a being of pure energy and now lives in the wiring of her house in South East London. She has also done lots of training and will run the Edinburgh Marathon in about half an hour. She also turned thirty and Sarah and I wrote a blisteringly bad poem about it. See below.
I have done my hamstring in. It turned out that the Serpentines track training did more than humiliate me in front of a lot of men with bums the size of a clenched fist. It also cost me the entire Edinburgh Marathon and several hundred pounds in physio. I’m on the mend now but still unable to run. Which is really quite annoying when you think about it.
Yesterday my physio told me that my muscles are “flaccid and wasted”. Which was nice of him. I wonder if I pay extra for the abuse.
That’s all for now until I think of something witty or amusing to say.
Cerise
Tuesday, 26 February 2008
Creaky's Corner # 1
Hello to the World
Creaky here. It has been many moons since I put my mark on this blog spot but nevermind, I'm here now. I am definitely not running the Edinburgh Marathon. In fact, I have done no exercise since I gave up on Singapore and currently don't actually have a plan too. My laziness is impressive. In my slight defence, and ignoring the fact I am lazy, I have now been constantly injured for nearly 6 months. What, Good God no! I hear you cry. Wipe those tears away and never fear my trusty minions, I am hard as nails and I can manage. Do you remember all those moons ago when I kept whinging about my shoulder. Well, it is still with me. It is officially a lot better at the moment as an expensive course in chiropractise has been undertaken. Apparently it is me old whiplash injury flaring up after ten years. Me neck has been an odd shape for ten years and the original shoulder injury was it saying that it was bored with that situation and why should it take it lying down, or jogging etc. Apparently the misplaced bones are pretty much under control and now I just have to book into regular massages to stop the muscles clenching and pulling things out of place again. Ten years of muscle damage to fix. Darn those massages. How horrendous!! Anyway, just thought I would bring you up to date on my laziness, I mean injury, and I shall sign off now for a week or so. Next week, as I am not talking about running (as it would get boring saying - didn't do any.) I shall be discussing a random topic. Suggestions are welcome. If I don't get any, then it will be about my love of the film Shark Attack 3. I might just talk about that anyway...... cheerio
Friday, 8 February 2008
Track Training with Hannah, Charlotte and May
I had my first track training session last night and it was pretty much an exercise in humility. Which I suppose is a good thing because I need to be brought down a peg or two.
Last night’s was apparently an “easy” session. A mere 3K speed challenge. This is OK, I though, I can run 3K with my eyes shut (Provided there are no corners or roads). However the whole speed challenge thing was concerning me somewhat. It turned out I was right to be concerned.
A number of things struck me. First, running club members are very, very strange. Men, if you have an arse the size of a grapefruit, it probably isn’t a good idea to wrap it in lycra unless you want to draw horrified glances. Secondly the warm up alone nearly did for me. I have a condition called Congenital Shitness you see. This means I have to train really hard just to be shit at things. Fortunately I am fairly well adjusted and thus don’t feel the need to be competitive. Otherwise I’d be fucked.
Anyway after a lot of retarded hopping about, including the infamous Cockney Skipping (Well done to Charlotte for observing that moving the knees outwards makes any activity far more “Cockney” than keeping them straight) and numerous lunges, we were ready for the off.
And indeed off went everyone. My friends disappeared into the distance and I was reminded of the fact that in this life, we are always truly alone. Especially if our friends are much faster than us.
1K – Friends disappear into tiny specks in distance, but still going strong although emphasemic breathing begins
1.5K – Seeing spots, feeling dizzy and at the back of the pack
2K - Existential angst
2.5 K Arms and legs not responding to brain's desperate urges of “faster faster faster”, however do manage to overtake one person and thus not actually be last
3K Cross finish line puce and feeling like I have stared into the empty eye-sockets of Death himself
Interestingly enough, I did manage to get chatted up while wheezing and being purple in the face which just goes to show what a fox I am. A congenitally shit fox, but a fox none the less.
Today I have a hamstring injury and am limping round like a crip. Time to resurect my stable name of Lasty.
Last night’s was apparently an “easy” session. A mere 3K speed challenge. This is OK, I though, I can run 3K with my eyes shut (Provided there are no corners or roads). However the whole speed challenge thing was concerning me somewhat. It turned out I was right to be concerned.
A number of things struck me. First, running club members are very, very strange. Men, if you have an arse the size of a grapefruit, it probably isn’t a good idea to wrap it in lycra unless you want to draw horrified glances. Secondly the warm up alone nearly did for me. I have a condition called Congenital Shitness you see. This means I have to train really hard just to be shit at things. Fortunately I am fairly well adjusted and thus don’t feel the need to be competitive. Otherwise I’d be fucked.
Anyway after a lot of retarded hopping about, including the infamous Cockney Skipping (Well done to Charlotte for observing that moving the knees outwards makes any activity far more “Cockney” than keeping them straight) and numerous lunges, we were ready for the off.
And indeed off went everyone. My friends disappeared into the distance and I was reminded of the fact that in this life, we are always truly alone. Especially if our friends are much faster than us.
1K – Friends disappear into tiny specks in distance, but still going strong although emphasemic breathing begins
1.5K – Seeing spots, feeling dizzy and at the back of the pack
2K - Existential angst
2.5 K Arms and legs not responding to brain's desperate urges of “faster faster faster”, however do manage to overtake one person and thus not actually be last
3K Cross finish line puce and feeling like I have stared into the empty eye-sockets of Death himself
Interestingly enough, I did manage to get chatted up while wheezing and being purple in the face which just goes to show what a fox I am. A congenitally shit fox, but a fox none the less.
Today I have a hamstring injury and am limping round like a crip. Time to resurect my stable name of Lasty.
Sunday, 27 January 2008
If countries have themes, Borneo's is being covered in chuffing ants
Well I haven’t been running too much because I’ve knackered my ankle. So maybe I will update you on some of our antics in Singapore and Borneo.
SARAWAK CULTURAL VILLAGE
We only went to the Cultural Village by accident when the reception staff at our resort advised us they might sell us beer. There was no beer but we were treated to a very strange cultural experience. It seems the culture of Sarawak involves chasing people from room to room whilst trying to tell them about pepper grinding in broken English.
However the real treat of the experience was the “show”. Every member of staff kept going on about the Show with an enthusiasm that was creepy. “Don’t forget to go to Show” they would say or “Show starts erreven thirty!” I was worried that the Show would involve being hypnotised into thinking that the Cultural Village was really good, but Sarah insisted so at 11.30 we trotted off to the theatre. What happened next was strange but we definitely left thinking that the Cultural Village was REALLY GOOD!
How do I describe it? A cultural soup of dancing airhostesses, jazz hands and a 20 minute Glockenspiel solo. There was audience participation and a clog dancing finale! Marvellous! But the best thing about it was that it contained The Man That Loves His Job (TMTLHJ). We had noted him early on in the show as he seemed to be doing his own versions of most of the dances. We had even speculated that all the staff in the Cultural Village were rotated and he’d be back on gift shop duty tomorrow. But Oh! How wrong we were!
TMTLHJ really came into his own when he performed a solo dance about the Hunter Gatherer catching his prey in the forest. Apparently the people of Sarawak prey mostly on balloon. But anyhow it involved a loin cloth, cycling shorts and an Alsatian skin. It also involved a BLOW DART GUN! We were treated to a ten minute spectacle of hopping about, hamming it up, walking amongst the audience and firing the darts at balloons. At one point a giggling Malay schoolgirl was dragged on stage for a go of the blow gun and at this point Sarah and I cringed so much we nearly turned ourselves inside out. He loved his job though. Loved it.
Other highlights included a man balancing on top of a long pole and spinning on his stomach, before running off stage hunched over and gripping his abdomen. Probably straight to the trauma unit of Kuching hospital.
Needless to say we left the auditorium with tears drying on our faces, if that is hypnosis it really works!
That will do for now, maybe later I will explain to you people why Sarah now wants the jungle to fuck right off and is lobbying for more slash and burn. But that, my friends, is another story.
See more pics here
SARAWAK CULTURAL VILLAGE
We only went to the Cultural Village by accident when the reception staff at our resort advised us they might sell us beer. There was no beer but we were treated to a very strange cultural experience. It seems the culture of Sarawak involves chasing people from room to room whilst trying to tell them about pepper grinding in broken English.
However the real treat of the experience was the “show”. Every member of staff kept going on about the Show with an enthusiasm that was creepy. “Don’t forget to go to Show” they would say or “Show starts erreven thirty!” I was worried that the Show would involve being hypnotised into thinking that the Cultural Village was really good, but Sarah insisted so at 11.30 we trotted off to the theatre. What happened next was strange but we definitely left thinking that the Cultural Village was REALLY GOOD!
How do I describe it? A cultural soup of dancing airhostesses, jazz hands and a 20 minute Glockenspiel solo. There was audience participation and a clog dancing finale! Marvellous! But the best thing about it was that it contained The Man That Loves His Job (TMTLHJ). We had noted him early on in the show as he seemed to be doing his own versions of most of the dances. We had even speculated that all the staff in the Cultural Village were rotated and he’d be back on gift shop duty tomorrow. But Oh! How wrong we were!
TMTLHJ really came into his own when he performed a solo dance about the Hunter Gatherer catching his prey in the forest. Apparently the people of Sarawak prey mostly on balloon. But anyhow it involved a loin cloth, cycling shorts and an Alsatian skin. It also involved a BLOW DART GUN! We were treated to a ten minute spectacle of hopping about, hamming it up, walking amongst the audience and firing the darts at balloons. At one point a giggling Malay schoolgirl was dragged on stage for a go of the blow gun and at this point Sarah and I cringed so much we nearly turned ourselves inside out. He loved his job though. Loved it.
Other highlights included a man balancing on top of a long pole and spinning on his stomach, before running off stage hunched over and gripping his abdomen. Probably straight to the trauma unit of Kuching hospital.
Needless to say we left the auditorium with tears drying on our faces, if that is hypnosis it really works!
That will do for now, maybe later I will explain to you people why Sarah now wants the jungle to fuck right off and is lobbying for more slash and burn. But that, my friends, is another story.
See more pics here
Thursday, 10 January 2008
And just what exactly are you looking at?
Well 2008 is underway and we are all seriously thinking about training for the Edinburgh Marathon. I’ve even been running a few times. Hannah is threatening us with the Serpentines Track Training. I don’t actually know what this is, but I am hoping it involves lying on a track with the eyes closed while nubile young men rub oils into you and feed you maltesers. However I suspect it is going to be more like running round and round in circles at gathering speeds, before finally collapsing and being sick over your hands. Hannah seems to think it’s going to hurt anyway.
My last attempt at a run was rather abortive and ended prematurely with me having a bit of a lie down on the pavement after falling down a big hole in the ground. Some serious injuries were incurred including a twisted ankle, a bit of grit embedded so deeply in my hand that it had to be removed by open hand surgery and a shattered pelvis.
Ok not the pelvis.
So let’s have another go tonight. I’m aiming for about 4.5 miles, maybe 5 if I feel superhuman.
Oh dear.
My last attempt at a run was rather abortive and ended prematurely with me having a bit of a lie down on the pavement after falling down a big hole in the ground. Some serious injuries were incurred including a twisted ankle, a bit of grit embedded so deeply in my hand that it had to be removed by open hand surgery and a shattered pelvis.
Ok not the pelvis.
So let’s have another go tonight. I’m aiming for about 4.5 miles, maybe 5 if I feel superhuman.
Oh dear.
Monday, 31 December 2007
New year, new me
Right - we've been quiet but that's because I've been ill and Sarah's been drunk. And ill. But it is new years eve and the training is going to start afresh very soon. I am a massive pudding again and a 4.5 mile run last night has left me with achy legs. Not good. But I'm relatively optimisitc and I'm even going to say wildly untrue things like "I'm going to run the Edinburgh Marathon in under 4 hours". So here we go:
I'm going to run the Edinburgh Marathon in under 4 hours. Yes I am. Just you watch.
In other news, hilarious tales of Singapore and Borneo where documented in the Holiday Diaries. Once I type these up, I'm probably upload them to me website for your enjoyment. So look out for tales of Mahoosive spiders and The Man That Loves His Job (TMTLHJ).
Peace out y'all
Greenie x
I'm going to run the Edinburgh Marathon in under 4 hours. Yes I am. Just you watch.
In other news, hilarious tales of Singapore and Borneo where documented in the Holiday Diaries. Once I type these up, I'm probably upload them to me website for your enjoyment. So look out for tales of Mahoosive spiders and The Man That Loves His Job (TMTLHJ).
Peace out y'all
Greenie x
Friday, 30 November 2007
Chimpanzee that, MONKEY NEWS
Today we went to the zoo. Singapore zoo is ace. I have wanted to go for many a year cos the animals aren't in cages but surrounded by a ditch. Whilst at the zoo, we had a go at stopping the award winning toilets being award winning, rode an elephant, posed with orangutangs (looking slightly scared) and said cheeky monkey in a northern accent a lot. There were no spiders though, which disappointed me as I wanted to scare Cherry. Well there were two but they were tarantulas which are just like a small rodent really. Nothing scary there.
We avoided the animal shows for fear that the chimpanzees would be dressed up smoking cigars and generally being not monkeys but did pose with as many of the cheeky bottoms as possible. The baboons were particularly ace.
Then we came back to the apartment, had a swim and a long steam. At what temperature does a human die? We got to 40 degrees. That is very very hot.
Now it is time to hunt some food!!!
We avoided the animal shows for fear that the chimpanzees would be dressed up smoking cigars and generally being not monkeys but did pose with as many of the cheeky bottoms as possible. The baboons were particularly ace.
Then we came back to the apartment, had a swim and a long steam. At what temperature does a human die? We got to 40 degrees. That is very very hot.
Now it is time to hunt some food!!!
Singapore Slings
Hello!
We've just flown into Singapore and boy are our arms tired!
It was a gruelling journey and one on which we learned many things. These include:
- Baileys tastse bad at 7am
- this doesn't stop anyone
- reading Take a Break gives you ugly children (it is important to hold it away from your ovaries, or to wear a lead pinny.
- Qatar is a dry and therefore dull airport
- People STARE at you in Qatar - probably cause they are so bored.
- birds don't exist
- except ducks
- always travel in a thong because if your luggage doesn't arrive you can wear it 6 ways (normal pants only 2)
So we arrived in Singapore and went out on the lash - this is good for jetlag apparently. What we've seen so far has been ace, I particularly liked the rooftop bar with views over the city.
Oh and we are so very tired.
Cx
We've just flown into Singapore and boy are our arms tired!
It was a gruelling journey and one on which we learned many things. These include:
- Baileys tastse bad at 7am
- this doesn't stop anyone
- reading Take a Break gives you ugly children (it is important to hold it away from your ovaries, or to wear a lead pinny.
- Qatar is a dry and therefore dull airport
- People STARE at you in Qatar - probably cause they are so bored.
- birds don't exist
- except ducks
- always travel in a thong because if your luggage doesn't arrive you can wear it 6 ways (normal pants only 2)
So we arrived in Singapore and went out on the lash - this is good for jetlag apparently. What we've seen so far has been ace, I particularly liked the rooftop bar with views over the city.
Oh and we are so very tired.
Cx
Monday, 26 November 2007
Holiday! Celebrate!
Hello,
We are off to Singapore in less than 48 hours! I’ve had my tetanus jab which caused me to lose the use of one arm and both hemispheres of my brain. Still not long now, and thank goodness there is no more pesky running. My toenails have nearly all grown back now! That said, training will commence again in earnest on our return to the U of K so as not to revert back to pudding status.
Go us
CG
We are off to Singapore in less than 48 hours! I’ve had my tetanus jab which caused me to lose the use of one arm and both hemispheres of my brain. Still not long now, and thank goodness there is no more pesky running. My toenails have nearly all grown back now! That said, training will commence again in earnest on our return to the U of K so as not to revert back to pudding status.
Go us
CG
Wednesday, 21 November 2007
Never ever, bloody anything, ever again
This time next week Jones and I will be on our way to Singapore! A full 24 hours and a 6 hour stopover in Catarrh (I know) later and we will be emerging from the plane slightly rumpled and sporting black eyes and fingernail scratches as a result of driving each other bloody mad. After a few days in Singapore we are off to Kerching (I know again) in Borneo for a jungle adventure. Oh and I’m not running the marathon. I am worried about the heat. That and I found out how much the health insurance would be.
Mind you I wouldn’t be surprised if Singapore was the sort of place where they MAKE you run if you have entered.
However on our return we will surely post pictures of our adventures on this very blog, and there is no need to cry, because the blog will live on as we prepare for the Edinburgh marathon. This will be especially exciting as it will feature guest bloggers Hannah and Charlotte, and anyone else we can con into running with us. It will also feature a weekly spot from Sarah, “Creaky’s Corner” (Name up for debate) where she discusses the issues closest to her heart that week. It is very, very unlikely that any of these will involve running. Maybe we could also feature bare knuckle fighting from members of the public. But I just had that idea and it hasn't been properly processed yet.
That’s all for now folks. More later in the week.
Green
Mind you I wouldn’t be surprised if Singapore was the sort of place where they MAKE you run if you have entered.
However on our return we will surely post pictures of our adventures on this very blog, and there is no need to cry, because the blog will live on as we prepare for the Edinburgh marathon. This will be especially exciting as it will feature guest bloggers Hannah and Charlotte, and anyone else we can con into running with us. It will also feature a weekly spot from Sarah, “Creaky’s Corner” (Name up for debate) where she discusses the issues closest to her heart that week. It is very, very unlikely that any of these will involve running. Maybe we could also feature bare knuckle fighting from members of the public. But I just had that idea and it hasn't been properly processed yet.
That’s all for now folks. More later in the week.
Green
A word from that massive lamer, Sarah
So, I stopped training and I REALLY stopped training. I haven't run since I decided that I wouldn't be doing the marathon. I am thinking that I need to do some exercise because I am eating a lots of pies at the moment. I may start cycling to work again. The downside to this is that it is really cold. I am also thinking of swimming, badminton and other fun things so I only have to run once a week.
Also, unlike other fools, I am not entering the Edinburgh marathon. I have seen how hilly it is!!
Also, unlike other fools, I am not entering the Edinburgh marathon. I have seen how hilly it is!!
Tuesday, 13 November 2007
Sarah is back! Yay
Hello
I'm back. Yes, it is me. The flaky non runner who has been hiding in Colorado. Colorado and more precisely Boulder. As I haven't been running let me update you on what I have been doing. I went to Boulder, Co for a conference on Education, but enough about work. I have been mainly ordering room service and getting beaten up by customs trying to leave. One of them wacked me round the face with a plastic tray. There is sort of a bruise and everything (it hasn't finished the initial painful lumpy phase yet. The bruise is to come). Ok, it wasn't deliberate but it still hurt. There was the whole fluttering of eyes wide with shock, slightly tear filled gazing with the facial expression of why? Why did you do that? Then I had to hunt down wine which I didn't feel guilty about drinking cos I ain't running a marathon anymore. Mwa ha ha
I'm back. Yes, it is me. The flaky non runner who has been hiding in Colorado. Colorado and more precisely Boulder. As I haven't been running let me update you on what I have been doing. I went to Boulder, Co for a conference on Education, but enough about work. I have been mainly ordering room service and getting beaten up by customs trying to leave. One of them wacked me round the face with a plastic tray. There is sort of a bruise and everything (it hasn't finished the initial painful lumpy phase yet. The bruise is to come). Ok, it wasn't deliberate but it still hurt. There was the whole fluttering of eyes wide with shock, slightly tear filled gazing with the facial expression of why? Why did you do that? Then I had to hunt down wine which I didn't feel guilty about drinking cos I ain't running a marathon anymore. Mwa ha ha
Friday, 9 November 2007
Onwards to Edinburgh
Well supposedly I’m going to run 16 miles tonight, but I still have a poorly throat and don’t much fancy my chances. Still did 8 last night with relative ease.
In other news I have signed up for the Edinburgh Marathon in May 2008. Charlotte (The Kracken) and Hannah are doing it too and you know what this means?
THIS BLOG WILL NEVER END, I WILL CONTINUE TO RUN LIKE A BASTARD. I WILL NEVER STOP MOANING ABOUT HOW MUCH ME FEET HURT. WHITESNAKE WILL NEVER STOP ROCKING!
HURRAH!
In other news I have signed up for the Edinburgh Marathon in May 2008. Charlotte (The Kracken) and Hannah are doing it too and you know what this means?
THIS BLOG WILL NEVER END, I WILL CONTINUE TO RUN LIKE A BASTARD. I WILL NEVER STOP MOANING ABOUT HOW MUCH ME FEET HURT. WHITESNAKE WILL NEVER STOP ROCKING!
HURRAH!
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
Poor little feet
Well I didn’t do 10 miles last night. I think I managed about 6. Looks like being ill has hammered my fitness more than I thought it would. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
Still, the time has come to talk about my feet.
My feet are my favourite part of me, and they are absolutely perfect. No manky toenails, no hard skin, just perfect feet. Always impeccably pedicured and soft to the touch.
That was before the running.
Now my feet resembled the gnarled claws of a goblin with arthritis. They are calloused and have the texture of rhino hide.
Still, the time has come to talk about my feet.
My feet are my favourite part of me, and they are absolutely perfect. No manky toenails, no hard skin, just perfect feet. Always impeccably pedicured and soft to the touch.
That was before the running.
Now my feet resembled the gnarled claws of a goblin with arthritis. They are calloused and have the texture of rhino hide.
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
On feeling utterly dejected and unable to run
Well you are stuck with me again cause Sarah has gone gallivanting off to somewhere that I think might be Colorado for work. Right so I’m going to go running tonight, just for a change.
I’m going to do about 10 miles tonight. I’ve completely lost track of the schedule, so I’m just going to do what I feel like.
It’s all going wrong.
I’m going to do about 10 miles tonight. I’ve completely lost track of the schedule, so I’m just going to do what I feel like.
It’s all going wrong.
Monday, 5 November 2007
And another thing
OK I always theorised that Katie Holmes might not be related to Shelock, what with marrying a gay dwarf and that whole Scientology bollocks, but really, for the love of all that is holy, when you are running a marathon you wear a bra!
Heavens!
Heavens!
And then there was one!
OK so I’m on me own. And I am rising to the challenge. I have spent the weekend psyching myself up, listening to The Eye of the Tiger and shadow boxing in my dressing gown. OK I haven’t. I’ve spent the weekend dying of tonsillitis and generally wracked with fear.
AIDS of the tonsils notwithstanding (one of my tonsils is bisexual) if I’m going to survive this race, I am going to have to start trying a lot harder. So from here on, no alcohol shall pass my lips until the 2nd December. That’s right, I’m only taking my booze rectally from now on. So in between sherry enemas, I shall be running immense distances and not going out. I shall also be drinking herbal tea, burning essential oils and washing my hair in waterfalls. I’m basically going to be no fun at all.
I’m also starting to freak out on a whole different level. Most of you probably know I am mortally afraid of spiders. Now Sarah has spun me some yarn about the all the spiders having been driven out of Borneo, like the snakes from Ireland (now that would be worth a sainthood). But I have dismissed this as malicious fancy, and did a google search for the words “Borneo”, “spider” and “massive”. It turns out that there are indeed TARANTULAS in Borneo and that they are largely arboreal. When Sarah announces out accommodation tomorrow, you will see why I am going to be sleeping with a cricket bat, a can of raid and a crucifix.
Gibber!
AIDS of the tonsils notwithstanding (one of my tonsils is bisexual) if I’m going to survive this race, I am going to have to start trying a lot harder. So from here on, no alcohol shall pass my lips until the 2nd December. That’s right, I’m only taking my booze rectally from now on. So in between sherry enemas, I shall be running immense distances and not going out. I shall also be drinking herbal tea, burning essential oils and washing my hair in waterfalls. I’m basically going to be no fun at all.
I’m also starting to freak out on a whole different level. Most of you probably know I am mortally afraid of spiders. Now Sarah has spun me some yarn about the all the spiders having been driven out of Borneo, like the snakes from Ireland (now that would be worth a sainthood). But I have dismissed this as malicious fancy, and did a google search for the words “Borneo”, “spider” and “massive”. It turns out that there are indeed TARANTULAS in Borneo and that they are largely arboreal. When Sarah announces out accommodation tomorrow, you will see why I am going to be sleeping with a cricket bat, a can of raid and a crucifix.
Gibber!
Captain Bumbag throws in the towel
And so I face, the final curtain
Alas, alack and similar terms. I am bowing out. I can't take the pace. After a long internal struggle I have decided not to run the full marathon in Singapore. I could list the numerous reasons but they would all just sound like excuses, which essentially they are. The bottom line is, I can't face the training. It is just too much. I shall have to find some other more reasonable challenge to try. (I might try for the half still though)
However, I do plan to keep blogging. And Cherry is still going to run (depending on how fast she can get over her tatty corpse illness). I will spend my words on telling you about what we are planning to do. So far, we are going to Singapore and arriving on Thursday lunchtime. I think that day will be dinner and bed. We have Friday and Saturday free and will do stuff including going to the very highly rated Singapore zoo. Sunday, Cherry dies, I clap and then there is some lounging by the pool. Monday is spent doing something Richard has organised for me birthday and then flying in the evening to Borneo. Haven't made the where we stay official yet but that can always be tomorrows blog....
ps I am happy again now I don't have to train and am just going on holiday!!!
Alas, alack and similar terms. I am bowing out. I can't take the pace. After a long internal struggle I have decided not to run the full marathon in Singapore. I could list the numerous reasons but they would all just sound like excuses, which essentially they are. The bottom line is, I can't face the training. It is just too much. I shall have to find some other more reasonable challenge to try. (I might try for the half still though)
However, I do plan to keep blogging. And Cherry is still going to run (depending on how fast she can get over her tatty corpse illness). I will spend my words on telling you about what we are planning to do. So far, we are going to Singapore and arriving on Thursday lunchtime. I think that day will be dinner and bed. We have Friday and Saturday free and will do stuff including going to the very highly rated Singapore zoo. Sunday, Cherry dies, I clap and then there is some lounging by the pool. Monday is spent doing something Richard has organised for me birthday and then flying in the evening to Borneo. Haven't made the where we stay official yet but that can always be tomorrows blog....
ps I am happy again now I don't have to train and am just going on holiday!!!
Thursday, 1 November 2007
Dear oh Dear
I’m letting Sarah come up with the next poll. So strap yourselves in for something along the lines of “Cherry is a…” and I shall joyously await being outed as gay on me own webspace.
In other news I have a new sports bra. I went past all the nice girly bras in M&S and quickly found the section filled with items made from Hessian, sack cloth and parachute harnesses. I’m going to test drive it tonight, but hopefully it wont rip my skin off like my other ones do.
I now have more running bras than nice bras.
Three.
In other news I have a new sports bra. I went past all the nice girly bras in M&S and quickly found the section filled with items made from Hessian, sack cloth and parachute harnesses. I’m going to test drive it tonight, but hopefully it wont rip my skin off like my other ones do.
I now have more running bras than nice bras.
Three.
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